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I'm looking for someone special.

I like to treat a woman like a princess and believe women should have whatever they want. But I can only have ONE princess.

I have to be the one to pick you up, bring you to a restaurant, and drop you off safely at home right after a nice kiss on the cheek.

I work hard not because I want all this for myself, but because I want to give it all to someone special who deserves it.

My perfect lady deserves long trips around the world on hot air balloons. She will be given a new unicorn on her Birthday every year. The old one will be chopped up and fed to the new one.

I will buy her diamond rings as big as her egotistical head that thinks she deserves it and I will also take her selfish ass clothes shopping every day because I love giving my money away to strangers who think they know me.

I will massage her body with a group of muscular men with freshly pressed coconut oil extracted by the hands of her very own child laborer. Why should I be my woman's ONLY slave? She is special enough for TWO slaves.

We will not have sex. I would not dare taint her pure body with my disgusting hands that are dirty from working for her all day and night. She deserves better.

I will pay celebrity look-a-likes to make love to her. But not before taking her to a 5 star hotel with a personal chef flown in from France.

Who cares about all that money anyway?

I'm in LOVE.